Monday, February 27, 2017

Cuz you gotta have friends...but preferably in one location

I will be gobsmacked if anyone is still hanging around here. I mean, if you are, God bless you because you are LOYAL AS HELL. It's been a long time since either Lady or I have posted. Like, longer than Cersei's hair on Game of Thrones.

(Do you guys watch that show? Holy crap, it's so good. That's a topic for another post.)

So basically, I've been going through a bit of a mid-30's crisis. I have too much stuff to discuss and too many subjects about which I want to share, and too many avenues to discuss them. There's just no consistency.

Let me back up because that probably made zero sense.

Life ebbs and flows, as do the "stuffs" that make it up. Maybe you aren't aware, but I have a total of three blogs that I've contributed to consistently (and mind you I use that word as loosely as Cersei's vagina) over the years. This blog about stepmomming you all know, because you're reading it right now. Yay for you! I started it with my good friend Lady, and we have moments of brilliance and moments when things happen that are so effed up that we can't even muster the energy to write about them. The latter has been the standard as of late.

Number two on the list is a personal blog that I created nine years ago in which I shared personal stories and anecdotes from my newly married life, my childhood, and everything in between. It was legit as good as therapy. Unfortunately I had zero readers and since Twitter was still a fetus, I thought it would be wise to share the blog with every single person in my life, who were mostly relatives. Needless to say it was a decision that I regretted instantaneously. Apparently people do not like it when you tell stories about them - even if they are hilarious. 

(For the record, if anyone wants to tell stories about me that are hilarious, bring that shit on. No one laughs at me harder than me.)

So after I had had enough "oh my God, why did you made me look so stupid in your blog?!" phone conversations and emails to last me forever (which was like, two) I let that lifestyle blog shrivel up and all but die. (But I'd be lying if I said I don't miss it like crazy.)

Finally, numero tre on my blog list is my most recent creation, and also the closest to my heart: my infertility blog. It started out completely anonymous - because I wised the hell up and got a Twitter handle - but after some time passed I made the decision to let it out of the closet; a decision that I was terrified to make, but have never regretted.

So... what does this have to do with anything? 

Well look, I have stories. Stories about infertility, stories about being a stepmom, and stories about my life as a girl who got huge boobs in 8th grade and once made diarrhea in her pants at a National Monument in Wyoming. They're all worth telling (in my opinion), and my readers seem to agree they're stories worth reading. And the other morning, while noticing how awful my dental floss smells after I use it, I had a random thought, "Why do all of these stories have to be compartmentalized into three separate blogs?" 

I mean, I wake up some days with a probing and deep thought on how to be a better stepmom. The next day in the middle of ordering a Chai Tea Latte with skim milk please or I will cut you, I will recall the most amazing story from when I was 15 and decided to start a wear-your-watch-on-your-ankle-trend. Later that week, I remember a moment in my infertility journey that made me smile and I want to share it with all my people. And that's the problem. All my people are in three separate places.

Why do I need a special blog to talk about being a stepmoms and another one to talk about fertility and one to talk about my life? Are not stepmoms also dealing with infertility? (Clearly yes because I'm one of them and no way am I alone.) Have not infertile people also experienced awkward teenage moments? Don't stepmoms remember how awful their first kiss was and want to relive it through my ridiculous experience?

The answer is yes. To all of those things.

The long and short of it is, these are all my life experiences. And many of them are probably happening to you, too. I once heard a pod-caster who was giving business advice say, "find a super small niche and stick with it." I fully get what she was saying, but it isn't in me. I can't just talk about why my ovaries don't want to produce a kid on their own. I can't only discuss my stupid ex-boyfriend that once knocked his teeth out on a broomstick (yes, it happened). I can't solely whine about the trials of being a stepmom. Life doesn't happen in carefully curated segments. 

I am like Dr. Seuss. I am here and there and everywhere and eating green eggs and ham with feet in my shoes, steering myself in any direction I choose. I am all of these crazy things, at all times of the day, and knowing me and reading about me means knowing and reading about all of me.

Do you dig?

Are you still there?

My point is this - I gotta pull it together. I'm going to do something that sounds like a financial adviser's worse nightmare. I am going to un-diversify. Or de-diversify. I am going to combine, coalesce, conjoin, mingle and blend. All three blogs down into one. Just one.

It's a commitment. 

From here on out, please find me at Yes, it's "listed" as an infertility blog. But from here on out, you will find that it contains stories from all walks of my life. My fertility journey. My childhood. My husband. My family. My job. My stepkids. All of it.

Please come on over and follow along with me. I promise to still discuss life as a stepmom (there's a lot to cover, yo). Especially now that my stepkids are teenagers. God help us all.

The other benefit of this culmination is that it eliminates me having to check 39408234 email addresses/Twitter handles/Instagrams/Facebooks in case someone is trying to get in touch with me. You can email me at You can find me on Facebook here. Here I am on Twitter. I'm not on the Gram yet with my blog. This seems like an adequate amount of coverage for now.

But seriously I love email and I love connecting with readers and other bloggers, so please, shoot me a note. Let me know if there's anything you wish I would discuss more often so you can feel sane. 

We're all in this together!

Love to you all,

(I'll go by my real name on the new blog, too!)